Is psychotherapy right for me? I’m often asked a version of this question, usually by people who have already been mulling it over for a while before they say it out loud. There is no simple answer, and I’d be cautious of anyone who gives you one. Psychotherapy isn’t a quick fix, and it certainly isn’t something anyone should feel obliged to try. That said, for people navigating demanding professional lives – and I see a lot of this with clients based in the City – it can offer something worth taking seriously: a space where you’re not managing anything, not performing for anyone, not racing toward a deadline, just able to think and reflect.
How to know if psychotherapy is right for you
There’s no test that settles this. But over the years I’ve noticed certain things tend to come up again and again in people who go on to find the sessions useful.
Signs worth noticing
- You’re doing well by every external measure, but you feel oddly cut off from your own experience
- The hours and the pressure have become normal, and you’ve lost the ability to switch off, even when you technically have the time
- Work, or a drink, or the gym, has quietly become the thing you use to manage how you feel, rather than actually feel it
- Whatever is building up during the week is affecting your relationships at home, and you know it
- You keep reacting the same way to the same kinds of situations, criticism, conflict, setbacks, and you can’t quite say why
- Things have gone well professionally, but this isn’t accompanied by a similar increase in positive feeling.
It is important to note here that the above do not amount to a diagnosis; they are simply worth noting when thinking about whether therapy is right for you.
When psychotherapy is a good place to start
The simple answer to this is that the time to start is when things are feeling a little overwhelming, or very overwhelming, and when you can’t see an easy path forward. Perhaps your usual strategies and hacks are no longer as effective as they once were; perhaps you can sense that this challenge is a bit bigger than previous ones. Hopefully you are not in a state of acute crisis, but if you are, that is certainly a moment when it is important to talk to an effective and experienced therapist.
The role of curiosity
Ideally, therapy is not just for such moments of intense overwhelm. It can certainly be better to engage with it before you reach that point. I would say that therapy – certainly as I practice it – tends to be right for people who are starting to feel curious about their own mind. They may wonder about a pattern of behaviour they can’t quite account for, or simply about why things feel the way they do. That curiosity matters more than people realise. It’s the thing I look for early on, and it’s usually where the real work begins. In a first meeting, we’d talk through how things have got to this point, and think together about what working therapeutically might look like.
You don’t need a diagnosis to begin
A lot of people who’d benefit from therapy don’t recognise themselves in words like depression, anxiety, or low self-esteem. That’s completely normal, and it’s often a reason to start rather than a reason to hold off. Finding language for something you’ve never quite been able to name is a large part of what happens in this work.
The conditions that make this possible
That kind of clarity rarely turns up on its own. It needs certain conditions: feeling safe, feeling free of judgement, knowing you can say something difficult without it being heard by the people you love. Building that space, and holding it in confidence, is something I take seriously, both as a matter of training and as a matter of principle.
What the work actually involves
Psychotherapy is sometimes described as offering unconditional positive regard, which sounds abstract until you experience it. It isn’t reassurance in any shallow sense. It’s a sense that someone is genuinely on your side while you go through the challenging process of getting to know yourself properly. Someone once said it’s about ‘having someone in your corner at all times’. I think there’s a lot to that.
A confidential space for what stays unspoken
I think a lot of people in high-pressure professional roles carry the same unspoken worry: being found out, losing composure, a sense that things are more precarious than they should be. Even after all these years of working. That worry is real, and it deserves to be taken seriously. What I offer is a confidential space to think about that fear and talk it through. Maybe it’s just a fear, or maybe there really is something which needs to be addressed, which can no longer be put off and postponed. In-person sessions are held in the City of London, within easy reach of St Paul’s, Bank, and Moorgate, with appointments available Monday to Thursday, 8am to 7pm, and Friday, 8am to 4pm, to fit around demanding schedules.
Is it right for you?
Therapy isn’t right for everyone, and that’s a perfectly reasonable conclusion to reach. But if you’re curious about understanding yourself better, and you’d value some proper support in doing that, you’re probably in a good enough place to start. I’ve worked with people in all kinds of situations, drawing on both psychoanalytic training and a philosophical interest in what it means to understand a life from the inside. If any of this resonates, a handful of sessions is usually enough to know whether it’s likely to work for you.
Ready to talk it through?
If any of this resonates, the next step doesn’t have to be a big commitment. A short initial conversation is usually enough to work out whether this is the right fit for you and for the way you work. Book a consultation to arrange a time which suits your schedule, and together we can talk through anything on your mind.
Is psychotherapy right for me? Frequently asked questions
Will anyone at work find out I’m seeing a therapist?
Sessions are confidential, and nothing about attending is shared with an employer, colleague, or anyone else. Many clients specifically choose therapy because it’s one of the few spaces in their life that isn’t visible to anyone else, where they can express whatever it is they’ve been bottling up for many years.
How long does psychotherapy usually take?
This varies enormously depending on where you’re starting from. Some people find a few months of focused work enough to address a specific issue. Others, particularly where the aim is a deeper understanding of longstanding patterns, stay for a longer period. This is usually discussed and reviewed together as the work progresses, rather than fixed in advance.
Do I need to know what’s wrong before starting?
Many clients begin without a clear name for what they’re experiencing, and part of the work is arriving at that understanding together. Feeling unsettled or unable to explain why is a legitimate starting point on its own.
How do I know if it’s actually working?
Progress in psychotherapy isn’t always linear or immediately obvious, but most people notice some shift over the first several sessions, whether that’s feeling more able to articulate what’s going on, noticing old patterns as they happen, or simply feeling less alone with what they’re carrying. This is worth discussing openly with your therapist as the work continues.
Where are sessions held, and when are you available?
In-person sessions take place in the City of London, close to St Paul’s, Bank, and Moorgate. Appointments run Monday to Thursday, 8am to 7pm, and Friday, 8am to 4pm, making it possible to fit sessions around a working day rather than the reverse.
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